Target Field Usher Apologizes Before Handing Fans All-Star Ballots, Asking Them To Vote For Twins

Richard Tamboway, an usher at Target Field, tells fans that “this makes (him) feel awful” and “sorry to do this to you, but don’t forget to vote for your favorite Twins players” when he is given the task of handing out All-Star ballots during the team’s home games.

“I feel so guilty that I’m asking you this, since you probably paid more than face value for your ticket, but make sure to cast All-Star votes for your Minnesota Twins,” said Tamboway, looking obviously embarrassed, to those seated in sections 310 and 311 as ballots were being dispersed. “No, really, I am serious. You probably don’t recognize some of the names, since so many guys on the roster have been called up from AAA, but do the best you can. Again, I am sorry to bother you, but we’re required to do this at every home game.”

Tamboway does take some consolation in knowing that fans in other ballparks probably aren’t dumb enough to vote for anyone on the Minnesota Twins, unless they do it as some kind of joke.

Boston Red Sox knuckleball pitcher Tim Wakefield—never known for having a ton of velocity on his pitches—says he has a strong suspicion that catcher Jason Varitek was taunting him when he called back to back fastballs during the same at-bat in the 4th inning.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s all make fun of the 45-year-old guy that tops out in the high 70s,” said the 19-year veteran of what he assumes was his catcher making fun of him right in the middle of a major league game. “He’s probably just trying to make himself feel better for all the times I laughed at him while he’s trying to hit. You can’t help but crack up at some of those swings.”

Wakefield tried to “amp one up there” when given the fastball sign yet again the next inning, but injured himself and was placed on the disabled list with strained internal and external obliques, a partial rotator cuff tear and a bulging disc in his lower back.

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